The Wolfman

Decide that rain on first day of Summer cause enough to embark upon another film following Edge of Darkness experience before gritting teeth and skipping to work. Still no sign of flatmate Tom so self feels less embarrassed about slothfulness. Require something easily ignored in order to work on rewriting CVs. Decide on The Wolfman as critical derision contrasted self enjoyment of film trailer and self likes catching up on Benicio’s inexplicable career slump following his two-film stint as bearded revolutionary.

Try to remember what year self worked for London Student newspaper only to be distracted by sudden appearance of Hugo Weaving. Accept that Anthony Hopkins has no self respect but am disappointed by Hugo’s career self-flagulation. Hugo joins in with others in game of accent mash-up which Emily Blunt obviously enjoying.

Annoying back pain due to today’s immobility worsened by agonising morph sequences. Feel sorry for Benicio: all he wants to do is die but nobody will let him, not even Emily. He seems so miserable about being a conflicted monster man in film that even its director gave up on. Benicio going to need Magnum.

Had done best to repress memory of beginning when Benicio performs Hamlet to full theatre but am forced to revisit hair-raising happening when Benicio has hallucinogenic flashback.

Enjoy ferocious Benecio vs. Hugo fight/chase through city but do not enjoy silly Benicio committing fire fuelled patricide. However, pleased that Hopkins dead. Am reminded of famed Norton/Roth fight in The Incredible Hulk when Benicio and Hopkins run at each other. Feel metaphysical link to gleeful sound designers everywhere when watching climactic fight sequence and know for sure that Universal Studios didn’t think anyone would still be watching.

Decide that closing voice over regarding the duality of man is worst writing since Portraits by Rose debuted at Twenty 2e7en’s festival at The New End Theatre in Hampstead.

Receive text from flatmate Johnny confirming that he has wired self money for internet bill and count self lucky that he is not here watching this as self would be like Benicio at end of Wolfman and he would be conflicted over what he’d just done to self as punishment for using broadband to watch howlers.