Wake at 10am as have meeting with woman called Theodora regarding casting for new play. Coffee, cigarette, shower, mini muffins, Facebook, email. Decide to throw on Humpday, cheaply made American film that remember seeing not-so-bad reviews for. In general, self enjoys keeping up to date with bromantic comedies. Intrigued by premise as, if remembered correctly, centres around going gay-for-pay. Wonder if self would do similar. Know self would.
Annoyed by film because good, free-flowing and original and all films made with shoe-strings make self feel as if wasting life by watching such films instead of making them. Spend majority of first half hour convinced that out of two lead males, one with beard is same one from The Hangover. Decide that self is wrong but know for sure that have seen him someplace else. Research into career reveals bearded one shares name with self so further interest kindled instantly. Can find no film that self has seen apart from Tim Allen embarrassment The Shaggy Dog (which self watched because of Robert Downey Jnr.’s involvement) and Fight Club which bearded one did a voice over for. Find self bewildered and have to settle on acceptance that self must be friends with bearded one on Facebook as find him too familiar to ignore.
Restlessness results in leaving unnecessarily early for meeting. Arrive in park and enjoy cider with Guardian whilst attempting to scribe short play concept. Find difficult as can think of nothing else other than gay-for-pay. Decide that these notions should be kept to self during meeting.
Meeting with Theodora productive and feel self capable of task. Return home as still a few hours before work and instead of beginning preparations for new volunteer production job watch rest of Humpday. Given that whole film has hung off premise that two straight men will potentially have sex with each other in order to film it and submit amateur footage to film festival (a festival at which audiences will no doubt be able to see self’s own home-made pornographic farce, Paranormal Activity), find self disappointed that no sex actually occurs. Wonder if philosophical message of film is that men should stay in closet. Know better, instead finding self satisfied by conclusion. Skip to work pridefully queer and exchange crotch grabs with gay employees at work.