Wake earlyish on Wednesday and initiate routine. Decide to pull up John Malkovich obscurity Disgrace which have only downloaded because taken in by DVD box cover art on Blockbuster USA website. Self’s own disgrace last night causes sudden wave of brain cramp to take over and am forced out to acquire pain relief.
Return and begin Malkovich film. Realise at once that film only present on Blockbuster website because film set in South Africa. Swing between being convinced by Malkovich accent and not caring either way as feel as if self’s film watching is truly in World Cup spirit.
Enjoy heightened language of college professor Malkovich although enjoy less his eagerness to have liaisons with his students without feeling guilty about on-going abuse of power. Puzzled by Malkovich’s refusal to atone in front of panel of peers and am led to suspect Malkovich bored of college life and wants excuse to visit estranged daughter in South African wilderness.
Film in many ways strange and off-kilter but remain far from offended by quiet mediocrity. Film takes sudden change of direction when daughter is gang raped, Malkovich’s face set on fire, and lots of dogs shot. Feel that self’s current state not fit to brave the remaining forty-five minutes and take a detour to BBC iPlayer to watch World Cup highlights.
Go to work. Come home. Sleep. Wake at 10am on Thursday and feel self would rather be outside with flatmate Tom than inside with mangled Malkovich. Enjoy Argentinian trouncing of Korea. Organise with flatmate Tom possible alfresco screening of much loved Branagh film In the Bleak Midwinter. Crushing disappointment when arrival at Somerset House with cider and smokes and two laptops (one for insurance) utterly pointless as father-made DVD recording does not work. Settle for episode of South Park but flatmate Tom’s dismay is pronounced.
Return home beaten and disheartened in same fashion as Korean back four.
Awake six days later finally recuperated from bleak Branagh Midwinter episode. Am surprised to find DVDs on bedroom floor. Infer that during recovery, self must have stolen DVDs from flatmates’ bedrooms in order to keep Malkovich film on VLC player. Memories come gushing back in Deepwater Horizon style once self has embraced first cigarette of day and fondly remember watching King Kong (so drunk that part of self was convinced “photo realistic” dinosaurs were real) and seasonally appropriate modern classic Fever Pitch. Decide that negativity from reviewers regarding gorilla remake irrelevant as remember watching Peter Jackson Tolkien follow up in cinema and felt self present in genuine spectacle. Also felt, then, as self continues to feel now, Jack Black was ridiculous casting, but ultimately accept that any film involving dinosaurs inescapably brilliant.
Still unable to bring self to watch remainder of Disgrace, especially now that self has been prescribed glasses as new eye wear will only make potential follow-up gang rapes crystal clear. Fear self will never complete Malkovich film as self easily distracted by daily World Cup highlights and The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. Wonder what Colin Firth would do. Decide Colin Firth would go and watch the England vs Slovenia match. Accordingly, decide to leave house immediately.
(Begin searching Disgrace on Google to download image of film to include on blog and instead find other, much more interesting, images of enjoyment. Decide to leave house fifteen minutes later than intended.)